What if I actually wrote a meaningful column that made everyone consider their lives, their actions, and just overall made the world a better place? Well, for one, none of you would continue reading, so screw that. Instead, let’s talk about Christmas wishes.
What if every year at Christmastime each person could have one wish to change something that did not negatively impact anyone else but helped to make you happy? We want to make sure that you can’t wish someone else dead or that you can’t wish some major thing changed, like a company going out of business thus leaving thousands of people unemployed. Also, I want the wish to be meaningful, something that would help make you happy. Oh, and it has to be comic book related. Oh, and it cannot in any way include creating or destroying or changing the content of a comic book, the value of a comic book, or the ownership of comic book characters, properties, or copies of any given comic book.
My first thought is that I would wish for more time in a day to read and write more about comics and to write more comics. The more I thought about that I realized that this could negatively impact my family as that may mean time away from them, or my work, since the time would have to come from somewhere. Either that or I stop sleeping, since I can’t wish for more hours in that day as that would negatively impact the planet in some way and throw off the Emperor’s Groove in some as yet unbeknownst way.
I can’t wish to fill out my comic box, since that would be stealing from someone or some company. I can’t wish to improve the grade of one of my comics, since that impacts value. I can’t wish for Kevin Smith to stop writing comics, or even to finish those comics that he ruined back in the early 2000’s. How many people still hate that he never finished Daredevil/Bullseye: The Target? Someone should slap him for that. Please let it be me… darn, another wish that won’t come true.
I need your help on this. Be the rules lawyers that I know all comic book geeks can be. Let’s define what we can really wish for. We have great new Facebook comments at the bottom of this article, so have at it. I hope you come back next week for my year end wrap-up where we will explore the unknown mysteries of mysterious phenomenon of the unexplained… or, maybe just stupid stuff about Deadpool killing Father Time. But not Baby New Year, he’s so cute!
Don’t forget to keep asking What if?