Story Mode: Justice League Alternates, Hyper Hamster DEO File
Subject Name: Hyper Hamster
File Number: 165
File Start Date: 12/28/2011
Real Name: Snowball
Occupation: Being a hamster, I guess? I don’t know. What do hamsters do all day? Run in their wheels? I never thought that this would be a thing I would have to figure out when I took this job…
Marital Status: Again. He’s a hamster. I’m going to assume that, if he’s in any sort of relationship, it’s probably an open one.
Height: 6” out of suit, 6’ in suit
Weight: .5 lbs out of suit, one ton (estimated) in suit
Eye Color: Black
Hair Color: Brown
Physical Description: Out of suit, he looks like a pretty standard Golden hamster. Pretty darn cute, actually. In the suit, it’s a whole other matter: a battle suit on two legs, painted, for lack of a better description, hamster colors (brown, tan, and orange). It appears to be designed to look like it has a human occupant. [Note: possible advance guard for a hamster invasion? Sounds ridiculous, but stranger things have happened.] When he first appeared on the scene, the helmet was a metal hamster head. Since then, he has modified it to project a holographic image of his face over the suit’s helmet. I’m not going to lie, it’s a little unsettling.
Natural Abilities: Again, I’m going to assume that, like other members of his species, he is quite adept at hoarding food in his cheeks and slipping through tight spaces.
Metahuman Powers: All his powers derive from his battle suit. Out of it, he does not appear to have any abilities beyond that of your average Earth hamster – although to be fair, he is significantly more intelligent. And cuter.
Weapons/Gear: His suit packs a pretty heavy punch, literally. He prefers using the suit blasters in combat, however, and those were powerful enough to subdue Bizarro during the Metropolis incident. The suit also has limited flight capabilities and, as the series of tunnels he left under Star City indicate, can burrow through concrete. Ironically, he appears to be the team’s muscle.
Personality Features: He seems somewhat unsure how to interact with our species, and has in fact referred to me as “Chase-human.” He’s more comfortable hiding in the background and observing, although he’s still one of the more levelheaded members of the group.
Distinctive Characteristics: His stilted grammar, lack of knowledge of English metaphors and, as previously mentioned, his tendency to refer to people as “[name]-human.”
Goals/Motivations: Unknown at this point. He does not show much pity for the villains he encounters, though, often choosing to go in with blasters (or “scanners”) blasting.
Personal Code of Ethics: Protect the people of his adopted planet, Earth.
Known Associates: The superhero team known as the Justice League Alternates – Zue (file #163), Jonathan Else (file #164), The Traveler (file #162), and Jason Suave (file # 166). He seems to have taken the supervillain Cheetah as his personal arch nemesis.
Parents/Siblings/Relatives: Unknown. Presumably many siblings, though.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the fourth and cutest member of the Justice League Alternates, Hyper Hamster!
While it’s not always readily apparent in each Story Mode from week to week, there’s a lot of great humor that each player brings to their character, and thus to the game itself. In a team that consists of a slacker, an egomaniac, an immortal and an alien rockabilly, you wouldn’t think that a space hamster would bring that much to the table. But the jokes that fly from Hyper Hamster’s approach to life on Earth and the situations that arise in the course of defending the world from supervillains often has our group laughing hysterically. While this team of superheroes aren’t the most serious or dedicated by a longshot, they’re certainly the most fun, and Jeff brings that fun in spades the moment he sits down to play his hamster.
It should also be noted, I think, that the always professional Agent Chase had a serious attack of the cute when she found out that there was an actual hamster inside the hamster armor. I bring the comedy right along with my players.
Next week, the beginning of the end of the Justice League Alternates. You are warned.