Thursday 18th December 2014,
Comic Booked

Movies That Would Fail As Comics

Nick Furious 02/14/2012 Reviews

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Have you ever seen a movie and thought to yourself,  ”This would make a terrific comic book series!”? While a lot of movies would translate well into comic book form, not everything would work out so well. So we here at Comic Booked have decided to look at a few movies that would make terrible comics and ponder the ways in which they’d work.

AIR BUD  (1997)

Why it wouldn’t work: Air Bud is about a dog who plays basketball.  I don’t think I really need to dive into why this wouldn’t work…but I’m going to anyway!  There is this alcoholic clown who used to own Buddy, but then Buddy escapes and joins the Framm family.  Josh Framm befriends this dog who has a talent for basketball (and about 10 other sports according to all 50 Air Bud sequels, only one being a theatrical release, mind you).  Long story short, Buddy attacks the clown and goes over to Josh and the family after Buddy apparently swindles the legal system because the judge was a Knicks fan and for some reason they don’t put Buddy to sleep right then and there for attacking someone.  I guess Air Bud 2: Euthanized probably wouldn’t sell too well.

My solution to fix it: We have so many of the necessary pieces right up front; we have this abusive clown who hit things with rolled up newspapers… okay, just replace the newspaper with a chainsaw.  Then we have that sweet Clown van thing; okay great, our villain also has a sweet mode of transportation.   Take out the Framm family, because they are clearly not heroes after they completely disavowed the legal system.  Maybe not a hero but Judge Cranfield, that twisted judge who showed no mercy only because he was a die hard Knicks fan.  Obviously Judge Cranfield would have to drive some slick “I’m nuts for Knicks” truck or something similar…it could be very Twisted Metal, without the tournament.  There would be a big spotlight on the treatment of animals each issue.  Judge Cranfield would probably have some beef with Michael Vick as well.

WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT (2004)

Why it wouldn’t work: Monroe Cole, a former President of the United States, almost loses to a guy named Handy.  And that is not his last name.  No, that is his nickname.  “Handy” Harrison.  I’m not the funniest guy in the world but I could come up with about 1,000 jokes with a name like that.  Long story short, Handy says he will run against Cole for the town’s Mayor and the big twist to the movie is that Cole wins.  Go figure…the President of the United States was more fit to be Mayor than a guy named Handy.

My solution to fix it: Cole obviously knows a lot of top military secrets being a former President, so why not go that route!?  Cole sees a little of himself in Handy (I giggle just typing it) so he decides to invite him to Area 51. I dunno, maybe Handy is a plumber and that Area 51 has a super clog and Draino Max just won’t do the trick…either way he needs Handy’s help.  As it turns out Handy stumbles on plans for an alien invasion, and who better to stop  a menacing force than a plumber.  Yes, Mario and Luigi were both plumbers.  So Cole and Handy have to put aside their difference to save the world.

LIAR LIAR (1997)

Why it wouldn’t work: If your Dad couldn’t tell a lie for a full 24 hours due to a birthday wish you made, who knows where the possibilities lie, the power you possess!   But Fletcher Reed gets lucky after having what can only be described as the worst 24 hours in his life, as his ridiculously stupid son wishes for nothing more than a pair of roller blades.  Way to go Max.  Not only is your Dad getting fresh with your Mom while he should be celebrating your bday, but your goofy Mom should remember he was getting fresh with Miranda last year on your bday!   Max…you should have wished for a new Dad, one that loves you.  You and I both know you still aren’t entirely sure he was telling the truth lying on that gurney in the airport.

My solution to fix it: Max Reed: 15 years later.  Enter this futuristic world…wait, it is 2012.  Ok so Max Reed has grown up knowing he has the gift to grant wishes, but it has layed dormant ever since the goofball wished for roller blades.  Of course at some point he is going to be dealing with cocaine problems and hookers (Good thing his Dad is a lawyer!) odds are he is gonna wish for some stuff he shouldn’t.  Yeah, it would probably have to be a mature comic, but I can guarantee people would read it.  A story about a selfish 25 year old who can only grant wishes for himself…its like a comic book of Entourage, without Ari’s wife who complains way too much for having millions of dollars to begin with.

Have a movie you’d like to see made suitable for comics?  Let me know!

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