Have you ever seen a movie and thought to yourself, ”This would make a terrific comic book series!”? While a lot of movies would translate well into comic book form, not everything will work out so well. So we here at Comic Booked have decided to look at a few movies that would make terrible comics and ponder the ways in which they’d work.
HOPE FLOATS (1998)
Why it wouldn’t work: If anyone has not seen this movie, do yourself a favor and avoid it all costs. It is absolutely dreadful. Long story short, the most popular girl in school kind of gets what she deserves as she is humiliated on national television. Her husband brings her on a Jerry Springer type show and tells her he has been having an affair. Add to that her daughter would rather be with her father. Not to mention her father has alzheimers. Her mother dies half way through the movie. Probably not really in the top five worst things that happen, but when her mom dies she also breaks a coffee cup. I suppose that might just be an inconvenience. But despite all these things, her old high school crush still wants to be with her regardless of how painfully obvious it is that this woman is bad news and he could probably do much better. Well, the movie ends on a happy note…the only happy note in the entire film. Regardless of how it ended, I think its safe to say they probably got married.
My solution to fix it: She has a recognizable face, she’s been on tv, people know her. Make her a reporter! She goes on all these crazy adventures and gets these big stories uncovering scandals and corruption. Also, have a cop named Corey or something silly that could be comic relief. Of course the twist to this story would be her ex-husband gets a job at a rival network and sometimes they are forced to catch the bad guys together regardless of their differences.
SISTER ACT (1992)
Why it wouldn’t work: As much as I would love to say this would work, because after all there was a sequel, let me explain to you why it won’t. Sister Mary Clarence leaves the church and pursues her dreams. Not very exciting. Yes I know that she comes back in the sequel and helps those d-bag kids win the championship of…well I don’t really remember what the competition was called and I’m alright with that. My point is once again Sister Mary Clarence leaves the church again most likely. It would be pretty stupid to have her randomly come back and sing songs and win championships in comics. On a totally different note songs don’t really work in comics unless you’re Scott Pilgrim.
My solution to fix it: You remember that wretched looking monster known as Sister Mary Lazarus, who Sister Mary Clarence eventually befriended by the end of the first movie? Obviously Sister Mary Lazarus is secretly a demon from hell. The twist on the comic would be only jazzed up gospel songs can stop her and the dark lord from destroying the world! Lieutenant Eddie would also be in the comic but he wouldn’t sing but instead, he would just shoot people. There would probably also need to be a lot of violence and nudity.
IN THE MIX (2005)
Why it wouldn’t work: Oh good God where do I begin. We should probably start off with this DJ who has absolutely no fighting skills, no weapons training, nothing. Yet for some reason Frank ,who is the head Mob Boss, decides this DJ should watch over his daughter to make sure she is safe. Uh…anyone in the world would have been a better choice to watch over your daughter then Usher. All Usher is gonna do to your daughter is- well you see where that is going. And that is exactly what happens. Even though she is engaged to this awesome dude Chad, she sleeps with Usher. By the end of the movie Usher and the daughter get married and Chad has to settle for Usher’s sloppy seconds. Poor Chad. Oh man I totally forgot to tell you why it wouldn’t work. It stayed in my theater for a day.
My solution to fix it: Personally, I love the whole DJ joins a Mob, but I would have the Mob train the DJ to be like a ninja or a small wrestler with great grappling skills. I would also have a very serious feel to it like have some people not sure they want to let this DJ be a part of the Mob, but the Don would say things like “Fugitaboudit. He’s in” Probably be his catch phrase. Chad would probably get some chicks in my comic because I found him outlandish and entertaining. Hell, I might not even have it be a DJ, it would just be Usher the sex crazed R&B star joining the Mob. I would also have Usher set people on fire and serenade them with “Let It Burn”
Have a movie you’d like to see made suitable for comics? Let me know!