Friday 19th December 2014,
Comic Booked

Just Three of the Worst Movie Costumes Ever Made

Trey Buffington 01/24/2012 Reviews

Most of us love a good superhero movie. When I say most I mean seriously, who the heck doesn’t? What really can make or break a superhero movie is the hero’s costume. The functionality of the costume along with the look go hand in hand when passing off as an actual suit the hero would wear. No hero in their right mind would wear a costume that wouldn’t allow them to turn their head or would make them look like they tripped and fell into Elton John’s closet.

 

1. Batman’s Nipples

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                 “Hey, jerk. My face is up here.”

Bat Suit Capabilities: Sudden drop in room temperature indicator; Arousal Meter; Glass cutting

God bless the poor soul who birthed of this bat suit design and thought “Damn, I am good at my job. I don’t know why anyone didn’t put nipples on the bat suit before!” Most likely because no one wants to see the Batman fight crime while  getting off by it simultaneously (even though that is possibly true).

“Batman, at first I thought you were just chilly…now I’m not so sure….”

2. Daredevil Candy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What do you mean the set of Moonwalker called and wants this outfit back?”

 

Daredevil Suit Capabilities: Chaffing; Extreme Chaffing; Holds Ben Affleck

Pretty sure this is how the design of the costume went down:

Director: Do you have any ideas for the Daredevil costume yet?

Costume Designer: Yes, we were going to take original comic book design and tweak it just a hair.

Director: How so?

Costume Designer: By making it look super shiny like it was dipped in candle wax and leathery like an S&M person would wear it.

Director: Why?

Costume Designer: Because that’s how blind people would make superhero costumes.

Director: Genius.

Costume Designer: I know.

And there you have it. The making of one of the worst modern superhero movie costumes.

3. Puff The Magic Galactus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“God’s cosmic fart.”

Galactus Capabilities: Floats; Poofs; Mists

Apparently, there was a deadline that had to be met when making Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Galactus seemed to be put on the back burner while the end was drawing nigh, which is why we got this lack of effort instead of the purple planet eater whom we all know and love. Once again, I can only imagine how it went down…

Director: HOLY CRAP!! We forgot to do a character design for Galactus!

Costume Designer: Who?

Director: Galactus! You know! That big boss the Fantastic 4 has to fight in the end!

Costume Designer: Ooooohhh… Hmmm. I have an idea. One sec.

“Movie Quality”

Costume Designer: Wuddaya think?

Director: CGI Team!

CGI: Yo.

Director: We need a character design for Glactus! STAT!

CGI: Hmmm… When is the movie Premiere?

Director: Tomorrow.

CGI: Well, on our lunch break today, me and the boys made this short film about a space fart floating around.

Director: Genius.

CGI: I know.

-Trey Buffington

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About The Author

Hello friends, I am the Creative Humor Director here at Comic Booked. From bar tending to military to data analyst at a publishing company... I've been around. Through all of that, superheroes have been my passion and I can't wait to share that with you.

  1. Brien Gorham 01/24/2012 at 4:23 pm

    Very funny piece. But let's not forget Shaq's Steel. The actual movie Steel looks like the costume that Jack Black and Mos Def would have made for a Sweded version of Steel.

    • Trey Buffington 01/24/2012 at 7:30 pm

      I was thinking about doing Steel, but the movie kind of made fun of itself. Thanks for reading!

  2. James Victor Von Hal 01/25/2012 at 12:11 pm

    Nice article! I can't believe you left out rubber-eared Captain America from 1990!

    • Trey Buffington 01/25/2012 at 1:28 pm

      Haha! Yes! That's why I titled it "Just Three". This is going to be string of articles centered around cheesy outfits. Thanks for reading!

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