“I usually identify with the nerds, but these ones just reinforce the social rules. Their values are fascistic. All those people marching around in capes and masks and boots. The superhero imagery is totally fascist! When you step into this genre, they feel it belongs to them. They want you to conform, or they won’t like you. They want the conventional.”   – Michel Gondry after the mass walk out at Comic Con

Director: Michel Gondry

Written by: Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg

Starring: Seth Rogen, Cameron Diaz, Jay Chao, and Christoph Waltz

Britt Reid and Kato decide to fight crime.

Gondry is a great director, if you don’t believe me check out The Science of Sleep, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  With that said, you can’t win every battle.

The concept is simple – Britt Reid, a millionaire playboy, thinks life is this big joke until one day his father dies and all of that changes. As we all know this has been done before, and it will probably be done again and again.  The only difference is this time, the father had a coffee assistant/mechanic (I have no idea why those were his two job titles) who was awesome at making weapons and had crazy awesome fighting skills.  Okay, I can buy into that it’s not that unbelievable… it’s not like driving in half a car is unbelievable, right?

Green Hornet has its hits and misses, and some more misses. Let’s talk about the hits… the special effects were pretty cool looking and the Black Beauty was incredible – it was black and man, was it a beauty. Plus all the sweet gadgets were pretty incredible as well. But the biggest hit of them all?  Christoph Waltz of course! That guy is just awesome!  He plays our villain, and I won’t even get into his name as it played way too much into the story as is.  I want you to have to hear it as little as possible just in case you do happen to see this film. Waltz brings us a creepy new take on yet another devious man. Is it as malevolent as Col. Hans Landa?  Pffft yeah, you wish!   No, but it still gives a much larger presence to a pretty bleak story.

The misses…oh, the misses. There really isn’t a nice way to put this so I’m just going to be blunt: this movie is ridiculous. Is it fun? Well, if inaccurate character portrayal/flowing story/decent dialog/incredible acting really don’t matter to you, then yes. It is fun.   Seth Rogen as Britt Reid was hard for me to buy into and I couldn’t really tell what I was supposed to be buying into. I was being force fed that he is a hero, but he really just came off as a jerk. Diaz’s character was just about as worthless as any female love interest could be, her character felt very FORCED into the story, and Diaz was just used as a selling point.  You can’t just use Diaz as a selling point…I mean did you ever see The Box? But, do you know who benefited the most out of this whole movie? No matter how mediocre this movie was, there is one man that had to be 100 percent on board regardless of the Comic Con walk out/re shoots/rewrites/script changes/actors dropping out/directors dropping out/studio’s putting this project through development hell.  That man is Tom Wilkinson. This lucky guy got to have a statue made of himself!  It’s probably sitting in his front lawn as we speak!

Green Hornet has a lot of action. It has a few funny parts. It has a sweet car and a (hot babe?) Cameron Diaz… If Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen can be garbage and make a lot of money… I’m starting to think studios just slap a 3-D on it and not even read the scripts anymore.

Gondry really dropped the ball on this one – and he was on such a hot streak!   Oh well, maybe he could do something with the whole mad scientist look he’s got going on… I dunno… just sayin’.

Pictured below: Gondry in all of his mad scientist bliss

Michel Gondry in all his mad scientist bliss