2. The Tumbler Tour
If you live in California you still have time to see one of my Tumbler cars and a Batpod during the end of the Tumbler Tour. If you don’t live in California you can still visit tumblertour.com, look at the schedule, slap your forehead, and realize you missed a huge opportunity. If you’re wondering if I’m sitting inside The Tumbler laughing at your silly bat costumes and wacky poses, the answer is no- I’m not in the car. Lucius Fox is. This is how he does his research. So if you catch the tour, knock on the window of the car and shout some gadget recommendations to Mr. Fox. He loves hearing public feedback. Just make sure whatever you recommend comes in black or I will hunt you down. Also, I should mention the Tumbler on tour isn’t my only one, obviously. I have over 30 that I keep in various bunkers around the city so that I can jump into one in a pinch. What? You think I drive all the way home first? The Batcave is at the edge of the city and who needs to commute when you can just secretly buy a whole city and dig hidden bunkers? Think about it.
1. The Dark Knight Drinking Game
So you made it to number one on the list… or you just cheated and scrolled down hoping that number one would complete you in some way. Well, I’m sorry to say that number one is the most obvious way to prepare you for The Dark Knight Rises. Watch the first two movies. But wait! It can be more fun with alcohol! I don’t drink (it impairs my ability to punch accurately), but if I did, this is how I would play The Dark Knight Drinking Game.
To play: Take a drink of alcohol, or shot whenever any of following happen in Batman Begins or The Dark Knight. Kids, you can play with Kool-Aid or Red Bull (both are equally toxic).
- Rachel Dawes complains (crap, you’re already drunk)
- Alfred monologues (he must talk more than a minute)
- There’s an extreme close up of a Batsuit, Bat-gadget or Bat-vehicle
- The Joker talks about his scars
- Someone says “I believe in Harvey Dent”
- Bruce Wayne doubts himself (silent brooding counts)
By the end of the night, Maggie Gyllenhaal should look more like Katie Holmes if you played the game correctly.
You are now ready to see The Dark Knight Rises! Now do me a favor and see it in IMAX which is smaller than my screen at home but will suffice.
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Guest Writer: The Batman (AKA Kim Petty)