Friday 19th December 2014,
Comic Booked

5 Nerds I Hate!

Victor Correa 01/15/2013 Features

The following is an opinion piece crafted by Victor Correa. Love him for it? Hate him for it? Let him know in the comments below!

You know that Transformers movie you loved so much? Yeah, well, there were hundreds of thousands of guys who hated it. They were very open that they hated it. And guess what – they grew up with the cartoon and saw EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE.

It’s the resurgence of old school cartoons and superhero movies that have quickly sky-rocketed to the big screen, once only consumed by nerds but now into the mainstream spotlight. Now us nerds are playing the hipster card – “I liked the Joker before he was cool” – and while it was us who kept these characters alive by buying the comics and cartoons and video games, we’re still ridiculed for being “too into superheros”, but hey, I guess throwing on a Captain America tee is cool nowadays as long as you can bullshit your way just long enough to get by.

Here’s a short list of things that most people do that drive nerds absolutely INSANE!

5. Fake teen girl fans. 

girl nerd Let’s just face the truth. You just aren’t. You say it all the time. You walk into Hot Topic and buy up every little bit of Batman merchandise and you proclaim loudly for everyone to hear “I am such a nerd” or “No one loves Batman more than me”. Well, I’m sorry to burst your joyful little bubble, but we hate you. We hate you so much.

These are the people who see being a nerd as a fashion trend. Its something that’s “in” right now so its time to jump on the bandwagon.

I’m not saying that there aren’t any girls out there who legitimately are nerds. Trust me, nerds can pick other nerds out. There’s more than just looking the part, and I hate even calling it that. Slapping on some thick rimmed glasses and claiming you grew up on Batman doesn’t say much, because, guess what? WE ALL GREW UP ON BATMAN.

Just do yourself  a favor… next time you post a Facebook status about how much of a nerd you are for playing Halo, reconsider the post and punch yourself in the face.

4. “I heart Nerds” t-shirts

Shut up. iheartnerds

 First of all, these shirts are the biggest lie on the planet.  Second of all, what do they even mean? Do you really love nerds? Every nerd you see? The Star Wars nerds and the WoW nerds and the comic ones too?

<——–What about this guy?super nerd

He’s a pretty big nerd. Do you love him? No, because he’s creepy. And guess what… we’re all a little bit creepy. Some of us more than others.

So let’s just change those shirts to say what you truly mean – you like attractive (non-creepy) dudes who may or may not like, but are completely open to, the idea of enjoying a superhero movie.

3. Other Nerds

THE BIG BANG THEORYLet me clear the air really quick, because this may get a little confusing. Nerds love being around other nerds. On the other half of this equation… Nerds HATE being around other nerds.

Still, I must elaborate more. Nerds love hanging out with people who share the same interests but at the same time this is also the point where we hate each other. When nerds come together to talk comics and games and movies, it ends up becoming a giant pissing contest.

Next thing we know, we’re trying to out-nerd one another.

“I’ve been collecting for twenty years.”

“Oh yeah!? Well I’ve been collecting for 21!”

And then we’ll start screaming at each other trying to explain our side of the argument debating who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman. It’s.. it’s just chaos.

2. Impostor fans

bronerdRemember when I said nerds can tell who else is a nerd and who isn’t? Well, its completely true.

I can’t even begin to explain how many times I saw someone walking down the street with a Flash shirt or Captain America or even Batman shirt and I’ve had to fight the urge to immediately quiz them on the character. It’s the same when you see someone wearing a band t-shirt – nobody buys a band tee after listening to just one song. But people always buy the hero shirts after watching a movie and suddenly they’re die hard fans.

Every time I see someone wearing a superhero tee, I just want to test their knowledge.

“I see you’re wearing a Flash t-shirt, do you know how he got his powers? Do you know who Grodd is? Who are the members of the rogues? How and when did Barry Allen die?”

This may seem petty, but buying a hero tee is a statement saying “I love this hero.” Now I don’t want to be mean, but you don’t really love superheroes until you’ve spent upwards to $500 a year on comic books.

1. Arguing heroes incorrectly

comicsvsmoviesThere is one thing that drives nerds to the brink of absolute insanity, and that’s when people who don’t read comics try to argue superheros. There is one way they do this – they take all the knowledge they learned in the movies and use it to reinforce their argument.

Well the answer is no.

You cannot do this.

The movies are based off of the comics, often times VERY loosely. If you’re drawing your info from a movie, then your source material is off. So next time you want to argue the fact Bruce Wayne would have been nowhere without Lucius Fox, please just hold your breath, and punch yourself in the face.

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About The Author

Victor Correa is 23 years old and loves comic books. He currently lives in Grand Forks, ND and hates the cold with every fiber of his being.

  1. @ethne88 01/15/2013 at 2:02 pm

    Wow… someone's either having a rough day, or just plain angry at someone.
    I agree with a few points, such as 1 and 2, mainly because it annoys me to no end when people argue without fact checking first. But I do not "hate", that's a strong word. It merely drives me insane.
    Point 5, well… the fake-geek-girl discussion is getting old (and annoying to geek girls all around), so I'll just ignore it.
    Point 4, would it be ok if I wore a "I <3 trekkies" specific kind of t-shirt? I do not <3 trekkies, but I do find to be attracted to nerdy guys in general, but that doesn't mean I absolutely love every nerd that crosses paths with me. So, may be "I <3 Potterheads"? "I <3 Whovians"? That's a business idea just waiting to happen.
    Point 3… I guess I kinda get the idea, but I do enjoy hanging out with other nerds. Specially my intense friends who will lecture me on the Silmarillion but will also endure my lectures on, say, Dragon Ball.

    • victorecorrea 01/16/2013 at 11:35 am

      I have a few of my friends that I could talk comics with for days and never get tired of it. But then I talk to some other people and I feel like i'm in a competition and it drives me insane.

  2. jeffhillwriter 01/15/2013 at 2:43 pm

    The creepy guy picture made me literally laugh aloud. Great read!

  3. Exile 01/15/2013 at 3:36 pm

    You really want to lead off with #5, after what happened with Tony Harris?

  4. Scorp_Moonopoly 01/15/2013 at 4:16 pm

    Fake geek girl outrage? Really? So now you're running the geek gestapo everyone has to show their papers to? Do you not realize that leasing its character rights to make things like those movies is what bailed Marvel out of bankruptcy in the first place? Do you really think comic book sales alone pay the rent? If it weren't for the people buying those t-shirts they couldn't afford to pay Brian Wood to write the umpteenth incarnation of the X-Men. This reminds me of people like Tony Harris, who lash out against the booth babes who won't sleep with him, but lets the companies and marketing divisions that hired them to be there in the first place to entice him, completely off the hook. This post isn't funny, it's misogynistic and arrogant. Frankly I'm embarrassed it was even published.

    • Adam 01/15/2013 at 7:00 pm

      Articles like this make me cringe. You can tell what a nerd looks like? Do they all have to be overweight, or dirty? Also, somebody has to be able to chronicle an entire history of a character before wearing/supporting that character? I read comics, and I like characters like Green Arrow, but I also know that only a handful of stories of his are actually worth reading. It’s mindsets like this that keep people from getting into comics in the first place. Half of your article seems to target women, while sounding like the same sort of pissing match you cry foul over in your 3rd point.

  5. Anonymous 01/15/2013 at 5:39 pm

    This would’ve been better suited to a personal blog spot. Can’t believe this got published on an otherwise great website.

  6. Emma_Kathryn 01/15/2013 at 5:44 pm

    But I'm a geek girl :(

    Quite a lot of people wear band tees when they have very little idea what the band are actually like. Think of the amount of Rolling Stones tees on teeny boppers the world over. I can see what you were getting at though.

    Wish I could spend £500 a year on comics!

    • Scorp_Moonopoly 01/15/2013 at 5:54 pm

      Yeah watch out Emma, apparently there is an entrance exam now.

    • victorecorrea 01/16/2013 at 11:37 am

      I have tons of friends who are girls that I talk comics with all the time and they suggest new titles for me to pick up. I wasn't tying to say all girls can't be nerds. I was just referring to what you would call "teeny boppers" looking at being a nerd as a fashion statement.

  7. Scorp_Moonopoly 01/15/2013 at 5:59 pm

    Oh I get it now, this must be like a satire, or some sort of parody right? You are making fun of the fact that people who think this way actually exist? Hence the whole Comic Booked humor angle, haha whew, you really had me goin' there for a second!

    • NickFurious 01/16/2013 at 1:20 am

      I couldn't agree more. These are all things that drive me insane. Girls don't like me because I'm a nerd. Girls like me because I'm charming and good looking. When girls try to talk to me about superheroes I can't do it. Its too painful. I'm not saying all girls. I'm saying MOST girls. I LOVE that you used Green Lantern as your example. At trivia the other night a girl team had the question "Who is actually Green Lantern?" and they answered Ryan Reynolds and they got it right!!!! I love this so much. Great article.

  8. shooter mcgavin 01/15/2013 at 9:46 pm

    you always say the things im thinking mr correa, you are the man

  9. victorecorrea 01/16/2013 at 11:22 am

    Hey guys! Noticed a typo in point number 5 that I wanted to correct. Right now it says "I’m not saying that there aren’t any girls out there who legitimately aren’t nerds" and it should read "I'm not saying that there aren't any girls out there who legitimately are nerds". I know, its worded really weird and I blame no one but myself.

    I just wanted to make sure I squashed any forms of "sexism", because it's not my intent. The main point I was trying to address was my own personal annoyance with "tween" kids (just like the teen girl featured in the picture) who see being a "nerd" as a sort of fashion statement.

  10. Madison Miller 01/29/2013 at 7:02 pm

    The concept of "Imposter Fans" and "Fake Teen Girls" fans has always bothered me. . . a lot. Sure, I'll be the first to admit that it's disappointing when someone dons lets say, for example, a Superman tee shirt and won't or can't participate when I try to engage them in a discussion about the character, but I don't think it's anyone's place to police the term nerd. To me, being a nerd was just something I sort of fell into –because of my interests and people with whom I surround myself– but the one thing I've always liked most about nerd culture is that it is inclusive. Trying to preserve the title of nerd for only a select elite diminishes that. It doesn't matter to me how someone became interested in a hero. If a movie was the thing to inspire them to start reading comics, or even just turn them into a fledgling fan open to learning more about comics in general, who am I to judge them for that?

    However, I do get where you're coming from when you list other nerds as things nerds –sometimes– hate. It's actually kind of funny because I have a friend who has religious views that are very different than my own and we can have very polite and meaningful theological discussions, but when it comes to comics we have to be very careful. She hates Superman, for some reason completely beyond my comprehension, and has plainly expressed her derision for DC Comics in the past (she's a Marvel fan). Whenever she does this I get so angry. . . it's completely silly and irrational, but yeah, we have to be very careful when we talk comics.

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