5 Nerds I Hate!
The following is an opinion piece crafted by Victor Correa. Love him for it? Hate him for it? Let him know in the comments below!
You know that Transformers movie you loved so much? Yeah, well, there were hundreds of thousands of guys who hated it. They were very open that they hated it. And guess what – they grew up with the cartoon and saw EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE.
It’s the resurgence of old school cartoons and superhero movies that have quickly sky-rocketed to the big screen, once only consumed by nerds but now into the mainstream spotlight. Now us nerds are playing the hipster card – “I liked the Joker before he was cool” – and while it was us who kept these characters alive by buying the comics and cartoons and video games, we’re still ridiculed for being “too into superheros”, but hey, I guess throwing on a Captain America tee is cool nowadays as long as you can bullshit your way just long enough to get by.
Here’s a short list of things that most people do that drive nerds absolutely INSANE!
5. Fake teen girl fans.
Let’s just face the truth. You just aren’t. You say it all the time. You walk into Hot Topic and buy up every little bit of Batman merchandise and you proclaim loudly for everyone to hear “I am such a nerd” or “No one loves Batman more than me”. Well, I’m sorry to burst your joyful little bubble, but we hate you. We hate you so much.
These are the people who see being a nerd as a fashion trend. Its something that’s “in” right now so its time to jump on the bandwagon.
I’m not saying that there aren’t any girls out there who legitimately are nerds. Trust me, nerds can pick other nerds out. There’s more than just looking the part, and I hate even calling it that. Slapping on some thick rimmed glasses and claiming you grew up on Batman doesn’t say much, because, guess what? WE ALL GREW UP ON BATMAN.
Just do yourself a favor… next time you post a Facebook status about how much of a nerd you are for playing Halo, reconsider the post and punch yourself in the face.
4. “I heart Nerds” t-shirts
First of all, these shirts are the biggest lie on the planet. Second of all, what do they even mean? Do you really love nerds? Every nerd you see? The Star Wars nerds and the WoW nerds and the comic ones too?
He’s a pretty big nerd. Do you love him? No, because he’s creepy. And guess what… we’re all a little bit creepy. Some of us more than others.
So let’s just change those shirts to say what you truly mean – you like attractive (non-creepy) dudes who may or may not like, but are completely open to, the idea of enjoying a superhero movie.
3. Other Nerds
Still, I must elaborate more. Nerds love hanging out with people who share the same interests but at the same time this is also the point where we hate each other. When nerds come together to talk comics and games and movies, it ends up becoming a giant pissing contest.
Next thing we know, we’re trying to out-nerd one another.
“I’ve been collecting for twenty years.”
“Oh yeah!? Well I’ve been collecting for 21!”
And then we’ll start screaming at each other trying to explain our side of the argument debating who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman. It’s.. it’s just chaos.
2. Impostor fans
I can’t even begin to explain how many times I saw someone walking down the street with a Flash shirt or Captain America or even Batman shirt and I’ve had to fight the urge to immediately quiz them on the character. It’s the same when you see someone wearing a band t-shirt – nobody buys a band tee after listening to just one song. But people always buy the hero shirts after watching a movie and suddenly they’re die hard fans.
Every time I see someone wearing a superhero tee, I just want to test their knowledge.
“I see you’re wearing a Flash t-shirt, do you know how he got his powers? Do you know who Grodd is? Who are the members of the rogues? How and when did Barry Allen die?”
This may seem petty, but buying a hero tee is a statement saying “I love this hero.” Now I don’t want to be mean, but you don’t really love superheroes until you’ve spent upwards to $500 a year on comic books.
1. Arguing heroes incorrectly
There is one thing that drives nerds to the brink of absolute insanity, and that’s when people who don’t read comics try to argue superheros. There is one way they do this – they take all the knowledge they learned in the movies and use it to reinforce their argument.
Well the answer is no.
You cannot do this.
The movies are based off of the comics, often times VERY loosely. If you’re drawing your info from a movie, then your source material is off. So next time you want to argue the fact Bruce Wayne would have been nowhere without Lucius Fox, please just hold your breath, and punch yourself in the face.